“One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.”
- Jiddu Krishnamurti
Stumbling across this quote couldn’t have been more of a blessing in the moment. I was trying to find the perfect quote that summed up what I was experiencing at the news of my gym’s official closing to relocate out of Black Diamond.
Don’t get me wrong, I have known this day would come for a little while, but kept pushing forward hoping that there would be enough clients to keep it afloat out here. Our little town doesn’t have enough people to sustain the business model and that was just the reality.
The truth is, I was not sad about the gym relocating, I can always drive to the new venue.
The part that saddens me is it just isn’t quite going to be the same.
I can’t just pop over there.
It won’t. Be. The. Same.
I know damn well that my personal trainer, Brian, will still be a mere text message away and that I can still get the support I need and carry on either at his gym, or another gym nearby with one of his amazing programs.
So why am I still sad?
(Like, embarrassingly sad, my husband came home early the day it was first announced on the Facebook group, and asked me how my day went. I burst into tears, and didn’t stop crying off and on until I fell asleep that night. Irrational much? If you know me personally, you’ll know this is so unlike me!)
These past 10 months since I began this journey have been some of the absolute best, most life altering months I’ve ever experienced.
I struggled. I persevered. I struggled. I overcame. I struggled. I picked myself back up and tried again, in the gym, in my family life, in my business.
My marriage feels stronger now (most of the time – no marriage is perfect), my body feels healthier, my mind is still a lot like a horrible tornado – but it’s at least got more of a planned path of destruction. My truck is cleaner (thanks Brian, I can’t stand when it gets dirty now which I can’t quite decide if this is totally annoying or an adulting win). My social media business page is more focused. I am a stronger hiker. I love wearing dresses and I can tell my husband is looking at me differently which is super fun after almost 17 years together! I feel very goal oriented and even if I’m nowhere near perfect in any of these areas, I’ve improved. I’ve already reached goals and I have done so many things I never even dreamt were possible. Of course I have to mention the craziest one, which was losing 51 lbs that I never intend to find again.
I learned that I deserve to take care of myself as much as everyone else deserves to be taken care of. I matter too. This has always been so hard for me in the past, but as such I’m setting a better example for my own children.
There has been no one single person responsible for all of this magic. It took the support of my family first and foremost, especially from my husband, who had to adjust to my food changes, my self-doubt, my complete wardrobe overhaul and incessant stories about how much I adore my trainer (#sorrynotsorry). It also took the willingness on my part to even make the changes needed to get to where I’m at. I do, however, credit a ton of this change to my trainer. He was the one that helped me to believe that I could accomplish any of these goals and steered me in the right direction. Without that, I’d never be where I am now.
These past 10 months that I’ve spent working with Brian, have been some of the most fun, encouraging and change-filled months I’ve experienced in my adult life. The thought of that coming to an end terrifies me. It doesn’t mean I’m unwilling to move forward and face the next thing, hopefully with Brian’s support in some capacity, but that it saddens me that this fun chapter of my life is coming to a close. No matter what comes next, it will be a new and different chapter, and with that comes the unknown. (This is where the fear part comes in.)
I can only hope to continue to encourage others to give his gym a try once it opens in the new location and hope that they too experience the same success and encouragement. If done right, it could be life altering for just about anyone.
I know I will manage and navigate whatever is to come with the same grace in which I navigate everything else – like a bit of a tornado. In the meantime, I’m experiencing that feeling you get when a really amazing book ends and you wish it didn’t have to.
Going forward, I will be loudly cheering Brian on as he opens his new location (which is still to be determined at this time). I want to see him having the success that he and his family deserve. With the kind of dedicated passion to personal training that Brian has, it would be crazy to expect him to be anything but successful.
Few people make such an impact on the lives of others like I can say with confidence that Brian has made on mine this year. He often gives me a hard time for putting him on a pedestal. I think it’s warranted after the success I’ve had this year. If he doesn’t like that kind of super status, he can meet me at the bike racks for a fight. I’m confident I’d win because I’ve been pumping some serious iron at the gym this year – just ask my trainer.
You can stay tuned for updates on the status of the new location for Hangar 76 Inc HERE. Or get your name on my email list for updates about this and other great businesses I support by sending an email to momwearshikingboots@gmail.com with the subject line OPT IN.